Note: this page is still being updated as I go through the process. It’ll eventually be tidied up and sorted out properly. Possibly split up into a series of blog posts.
Starting wedding planning was an intense experience. There are a lot of resources at the modern bride’s disposal, many free and also many with a North American focus.
There are plenty of Australian sites that are geared towards what I call the Fairy Princess Bride (FPB). Many women who want that aesthetic for their day, great news Pinterest is also full of ideas for that look! I’m not at all implying that a FPB is a bad thing.
However no matter which way I sliced it, I’ve recognised I will never be a FPB.
I started to find some websites that appealed to me. A Practical Wedding was mentioned in discussions with friends; I felt this approach was much more my style. I don’t feel alternative or quirky enough to be a proper Offbeat Bride, though their planning resources were excellent and a helpful start for me.
I’m the sort of person who wants a marriage much more than a wedding. Planning this event involved elements of dread. Everybody is going to be staring at me… all day, taking photos of me doing everything. How do I cope with that when my default setting is to be somewhat understated or ideally ignored? The a APW article titled, Your Wedding is not a Show helped me so much. I can’t adequately describe what a comfort it was to my introverted self to read and so heavily relate to that.
I started to reframe hesitations and fears to determine what sort of bride I would aim to be. I settled on striking, as pretty felt wildly unattainable. I found that I considered myself to be more of a Striking Practical Bride (SPB).
Where I started with Planning
There are several things from traditional weddings that I find outright problematic, awkward or personally unappealing. Figuring out how to change and tweak things to give us and our guests a good day has been a challenge but should be quite rewarding on the day.
Combined with the excellent advice from the APW planner we started there by figuring out what was most important to us both.
What We Did from the APW Planner
I like books, at the time I still had access to US Amazon so I ordered that book before they cut us off. It’s quite American but still very much worth what I paid and more. Even though there’s a good lot that I’d change if I was creating an Australian edition.
Listing the 3 main areas of importance for us as individuals and as a couple felt naff but it’s been so important. Made it so easy to avoid being swept up and away in a cloud of fantasy over utterly trivial, to us, things.
Being able to go back to that list in an instant is brilliant!
What We Did from other Advice
At the start of planning I was an active member of a wedding thread on a site with many forums. This was a really helpful place initially as crafters tend to be able to relate to each other quite well. I later discovered some things that I was comfortable with discussion of didn’t seem to be reflected in the readership so I quietly left.
Before then I got a solid piece of advice which was to DIY one major thing. I decided that due to circumstances and interest I was going to DIY our invitations. You certainly don’t DIY to save money or time. I’ve spent weeks testing out ideas, execution of ideas and while I think the result will be great it has been an eye opening experience and makes me glad that I’m outsourcing a lot of other things to do with the wedding.